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I Don’t Want You To Be A

Eradicate Mom Guilt With Expander Parenting™

Table of Contents

  1. Introduction
  2. Mom Guilt is unhelpful, unnecessary, and quite frankly unacceptable
  3. The 4 Principles of Expander Parenting™
  4. The Consciousness Revolution Behind Expander Parenting™
  5. Transform The Burden Of “Do It All” Guilt Into The Power Of Being The Best Version Of You

INTRODUCTION

  • Being a “good mom” is burning you out.
  • Expander Parenting™ defined
  • You’re here to build your legacy, and your impact in this world. Perhaps you’re stuck so far into mom-guilt that you haven’t seen the light of yourself since your kids were born, to enjoy every bit of your holistic success. Yet the conditioning of mom-guilt has you limited, exhausted, and not living in the fullest expression of who you are.
  • Who is the highest version of you? Who is the next level of you…that woman in your vision.
  • What would SHE do?
  • A life fulfilled

I Don’t Want You to Be a "Good Mom": Eradicate Mom Guilt with Expander Parenting™

I don’t want you to be a “good mom.” Being a “good mom” is burning you out.

Whoa, right? How does reading that make you feel? Offended? Relieved? Confused?

I don’t want you to be a “good mom” because I’m seeing a dilemma in the parenting model my visionary women clients subscribe to.

These women have meaningful, legacy-building businesses but are trapped by a parenting paradigm that keeps them feeling resentful, guilty, and exhausted.

This stops right now. With you, with me, with all of us.

Ladies, we’re in a consciousness revolution. The world is shifting. More women leaders and entrepreneurs are claiming space, building legacies, making an impact, and becoming breadwinners.

We need a new parenting paradigm — particularly when it comes to “mom-ing.”

That’s why I created Expander Parenting™ and its underpinning truth: The best way you can love and empower your children is to show them what is possible by becoming the fullest expression of yourself.

Where did this whole Expander Parenting™ concept come from? Out of a coaching moment I had with a legacy-building woman inside my Mind Magic program I’ll call Jane.

Jane is typical of the kind of client I work with: She’s highly conscious, recently passed a half a million dollars in revenue in her business, and is learning to generate holistic success.

And something is still holding Jane back. It was during a fear of success discussion that she realized: Mom guilt is keeping her from experiencing her next quantum leap.

Her mom guilt said: “What if you allow yourself to expand and grow to multi-millions in revenue, and you buy your gorgeous dream home, and it takes your kids out of their school district and away from their friends?”

This fear made Jane shrink and hedge. Can you relate?

Maybe you’re so stuck in mom guilt you haven’t seen the light of who you truly are since your kids were born. You haven’t been able to enjoy your holistic success because the conditioning of mom guilt says you can’t. It keeps you limited and exhausted — and not living in the fullest expression of who you are.

But what if the measure of loving your kids and being a phenomenal mother is allowing yourself to access the heights of your limitless potential? To change generations by showing them what’s possible when you don’t shrink or play small? When you go all in and play big?

Expander Parenting™ is a generation-changing identity shift.

The tapestry of my identity includes mother, sister, daughter, friend, empire-builder, CEO, world changer, divine soul, sensual lover, and on.

 

You can’t build your legacy without expanding your identity because your identity dictates how you think and act.

Who is the highest version of you? Who is the next level of you? Who is the woman in your vision? What would SHE do?

I have a feeling she’d tell mom guilt to fuck off and focus on fulfilling herself first because she understands when you allow yourself to be who you truly are, you’re expanding your ability to be happy.

When you are genuinely in a place of self-love and worthiness, your joy will impact the kids, helping them be happy people.


Mom guilt? It’s not part of your identity.

Mom Guilt Is Unhelpful, Unnecessary, and Quite Frankly Unacceptable

As mothers and business owners, we all know what it feels like to be torn between the attention we give our children and our careers. It’s an everyday experience, right?


Sadly, the pandemic only heightened this struggle.


Suddenly, we’re filling the role of parent, teacher, and business owner in the same place at the same time. There is no “off the clock.” There is no “me” time. (Like there ever was!)

It isn’t about having it all. It’s about doing it all:


Getting your kids dressed and fed. Making sure they have everything they need for the school day.


Troubleshooting Zoom connection issues while fielding phone calls and checking email. Timing your meetings so they coincide with your kids’ breaks. Whipping up a healthy lunch and catching up on email while they eat.

Playing with the kids after work. Helping them with homework.


Cooking dinner. Cleaning up. Getting them ready for bed. Finishing up work once they’ve passed out. Doing it all over again the next day. And the day after that…


You’re a “good mom.” That’s what you do, right? You put your kids first, at all costs. You rearrange your life around them. Anything less than total, all-consuming commitment to your kids? That’s just plain selfish.


The pandemic made it more obvious: The “good mom” has zero boundaries.


And women are fed up with this current “normal.” Rightfully so!


The good news is we have more awareness. The bad news? We still have a huge problem.


I see a lot of women talk a big game about generational change. I see posts about smashing the patriarchy and creating a better world for our children and grandchildren. And I’m here for it! Unfortunately…


I see the talk, but I don’t see the walk.


What I see instead is you, a legacy-building mom, exhausted and resentful and depleted. The outdated “good mom” paradigm is sucking you dry. You beat yourself up because you’re doing everything you can to be a proud breadwinner, have a seat at the table, and lead a dynamite team and mission…


… While simultaneously acting out an unhealthy parenting paradigm that you must be a “good mom.”


This is the problem:


It’s old paradigm thinking. And it’s not working.


We’ve been raised to believe that a “good mom” is everything to her kids. Their needs are first and foremost, so she sacrifices what she needs for them. She must consider her children before any and all of her own needs, and that’s how she shows she loves them. (And how they know she loves them.)


 

This is what was modeled to us. This is what our mothers, grandmothers, and culture taught us. And if you don’t change this model, your kids will follow it. Outdated, sacrificial parenting smashes no patriarchy and changes nothing for future generations.


Our deepest desire as mothers is that our children are safe, happy, and confident, contributing to the world, and wildly successful at whatever matters most to them.


Can we model that when we’re exhausted, resentful, depleted, and guilt ridden? Can we build and scale meaningful, legacy-building businesses when we’re trapped in a parenting paradigm that keeps us feeling bitter and exhausted?


NOPE.


Society is massively limiting women and preventing us from tapping into our greatness with these bullshit expectations.


There’s NO WAY to build your empire, lead your team, take care of your energy, desire intimacy with your partner, and be enthusiastically present with your children when you’re forcing yourself to be a “good mom.” When you’re a “good mom,” you’re abdicating your sovereignty and what you know you need for some made-up “ideal” of motherhood that comes straight out of 1950s television.


What a gift you’ll give your children, your partner, and yourself if you embrace Expander Parenting™ instead.

The 4 Principles of Expander Parenting™

This universal truth bears repeating: Children learn from who you are being, not what you are saying. You want your children to thrive. You want them to take great care of their precious selves. You want them to succeed beyond their biggest dreams. You want them to scream with joy. You want them to love themselves without reservation. They learn that from YOU. The influence you have on your children (and their children, and their children’s children) is most profound in how YOU show up. That’s why it’s imperative that we flip the “good mom” parenting paradigm and its principles, and embody Expander Parenting™ instead. Here’s how.

1. Prioritizing yourself over your martyrdom.

“Good mom” parenting loooves a sacrifice.

How often have you thought — or said! — this: I skipped my workout class to cook you dinner/help you with the science project/drive you to your appointment and now you’re being difficult!?

There’s your child, ignoring you, throwing a tantrum, being a child. But because you chose to sacrifice your workout class, you resent them. You feel like a victim of their behavior. So you snap at them and then you feel worse.

Martyrdom is a resentment breeding machine. Expander Parenting™ puts your wellness above any misplaced notions about sacrifice.

(Within reason, of course. If your child is bleeding you don’t say, “Sorry, I’m taking a bath.” But an Expander Parent™ knows that she and her family thrive when she is a priority.)

Sacrificing what you need so your child gets your resentful, impatient “help” doesn’t support your child. And when your child witnesses you sacrificing yourself over and over, what does that model for them? Yup. Exactly.

No one wins when you ignore your needs for some made-up idea of what your child needs from you.

Everyone wins when you prioritize what you need to feel your most calm, healthy, and abundant.

2. You can’t do it all — so don’t. 

(Asking for help is a superpower!)

A “good mom” is supposed to do it all. Look at me, I’ve got this, no worries! Cupcakes for her son’s classroom? Got it! Coaching her daughter’s soccer team? You bet! Slaying at work? Naturally!

Yet on the inside, this woman is barely holding it together. She’s overwhelmed, harried, wound tight. It’s infinitely harder to achieve success when you’re constricted like that.

An Expander Parent™ loves asking for and receiving help. It might be a cleaning service. It might be takeout. It might be a carpool. Maybe it’s simply a confident “no, I’m not going to volunteer for that field trip.”

When you embrace Expander Parenting™, you recognize you don’t have to be all the things to all people. You know what you’re available for — and what you need to say no to.

That’s how you model and normalize generational change: You walk the talk by asking for and receiving help.

3. Quality over quantity wins. Every. Single. Time.

“Good mom” parenting believes that if we’re not doing everything for and with our kids, we’re neglecting them.

Girls trip? What about the kids?

Retreat? What about the kids?

Business opportunity that will take you away for a week? What about the kids?

Expander Parenting™ places quality over quantity. And I mean that: no tech, no multitasking — full, unadulterated presence for dedicated periods of time. That’s how you connect and let yourself and your kids be satiated.

I have three daughters, and we’ve been practicing quality over quantity for a while. We create pockets of uninterrupted time together, and it’s awesome. We put our phones away so we can be fully connected, talking and engaging.

Contrast that with making yourself be “present” with your kids when your attention is on work, your phone, making dinner, making a mental to-do list. Consider how often you make yourself “be there” with your children, without actually being there.

4. Trust that when you thrive in your life’s goals (and you’re the fullest expression of yourself, your love, your limitlessness) your children will, too.

The “good mom” paradigm tells you that if you don’t have mom guilt, there must be something wrong with you.

If you put your needs first, you’re selfish. And you must not really love your kids. If you’re not making all decisions through the lens of your children? Then go ahead and rub yourself down in some good ol’ mom guilt!

This is so outdated and I can’t stand it. It’s GOT to go.

When you embrace and embody HER, mom guilt falls away. It doesn’t make sense. When you’re operating from your highest self, there’s no other possibility than that your kids will thrive. That’s trust.

You showing up in your limitlessness is a gift to your children. Your absolute confidence and trust will instill the same confidence and trust in them — thereby showing them how to embrace their limitlessness.

The Consciousness Revolution Behind Expander Parenting™

Revolutionary women are making space for this “new normal” — for Expander Parenting™.

They know that now is the time to reconcile their desire to dream big with their maternal instinct.

Why? Why now?

Because if we don’t break down the older paradigms of mom-ing and parenting and create one more in alignment with our era, our goals, and our visions, we’re going to block ourselves. We’re going to feel like shit. And mom guilt is going to haunt us endlessly.

When we free ourselves from mom guilt and the “good mom” model, we can be in the fullest expression of ourselves. We can be expansive in our energy, relaxed and at ease in our bodies, and open to more impact, wealth, and holistic success.
It all starts with stepping into the next level of ourselves and creating the generational change we’re responsible for. Because the next level of wealth, impact, and joy can only be created by the next level of you.

The quickest way to do that NOW?

The shortest path I know from “good mom” to Expander Parenting™ is through embodiment.

That’s why I created the What Would SHE Do embodiment practice. This short, free audio training teaches you how to recognize that believing your thoughts is optional, and to connect with the version of you who embodies Expander Parenting™.

(Spoiler alert: SHE never suffers from mom guilt. It doesn’t even occur to her.)

This free practice helps you build self-trust, regulate your nervous system, and consistently take aligned action so you can actualize everything you say you want and breeze past inevitable doubt and fear as you do.

YES, it’s that simple! (Note: I did not say easy.) It’s you showing up to yourself and breathing through that fear every day. And that’s what the practice is: a tool in your pocket to supersede your mind’s greatest attempts to keep you safe/the same.

The more you do it, the more effortless and obvious it becomes.

The What Would SHE Do embodiment practice is your companion on this remarkable journey of your life and your dreams. And I cannot wait to meet your next level YOU.

Transform the Burden of “Do It All” Guilt into the Power of Being the Best Version Of You

Here’s the truth: You don’t have to be a “good mom” to be an empowered, loving, expansive mother.

Your children do not need you to be their only source of learning, nourishment, support, or companionship.

Your children need you to model and embody what it looks like to be a highly conscious, empowered mother who prioritizes herself, shows up in her fullest expression, and accesses her limitless potential. That is how we love our children.

This became so personally clear to me when I read my daughter’s college essay. She wrote, “I watched my single, unemployed mother ascend to a best-selling author, TED speaker, and CEO of her seven-figure empire. Watching her journey in entrepreneurship inspired me daily. Because of how she shows up and what she has modeled, I know and believe that I am strong, independent, magnetic, limitless.”

If I can be that kind of parent, so can you.

I give you permission to do all you are capable of in this world and lifetime. I give you permission to break the ties that bind you to the “good mom” paradigm.

I give you permission to nourish and cultivate your spaciousness and your soul’s fiery dreams and to fuel your children’s dreams and capability through example.

I give you permission to say goodbye to mom guilt and focus more of your energy on next level you.

Ladies, you can’t build a 21st century empire with 20th century mom-ing. Welcome to Expander Parenting™.
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